I really don’t understand why many men (and some women) feel that driving a minivan is an affront to their masculinity. Unfortunately, the sentiment is rampant. In one online forum I read, someone said he “would be all about banning minivans.” According to him, they are “demeaning to all attempts at manliness.” So it seems the man-card police are out there ready to revoke the credentials. If you’re not driving a truck or sports car or maybe even a golf cart, watch out! Guilty of driving a minivan–OK, you caught me. Guilty of being less of a man because of it–I object!
Let me state my case. First, anyone who feels threatened by driving a minivan is insecure in his manliness to begin with. Seriously, why would any man (or woman) driving a 4X4 with big steel balls hanging from the tow hitch need feel threatened by a minivan-driving dad? Yeah, you know where I’m going with that. Second, minivans are the epitome of manliness. Driving one shows the essential qualities true men possess:
- Virility–to sire all the children being hauled in the minivan
- Confidence–to drive the minivan in the face of the ridicule and taunts of lesser men
- Intelligence–to pick an economical and practical mode of transportation
- Leadership–to guide such a complex and dynamic organization such as a family
- Charisma–to charm such a woman who would bear your offspring
Certainly, James Bond is a manly man possessing all of those traits. And if James Bond were a family man, he would drive a minivan. So, if the man-card police demand proof of manliness because you’re driving a minivan, don’t be dismayed. Your man-card holding privileges are secure, and you possess something lesser men can only wish for. Drive on with confidence because you know the real offenders are the suckers who watch Twilight movies with their wives. Hey, wait a minute . . .